ShadowWork was originally created by Carl Jung to help people bring the darkest parts of themselves to Light for healing and transformation. This essential aspect of healing is one that many people shy away from, believing that in order to transcend the negativity and darkness of the world we must only focus on the positive. But denying this part of who we are is oppressive and continues the cycles of violence and abuse.
Not all perceived darkness is negative.
"Our deepest wounds frequently spring from our greatest gifts, and by acknowledging these gifts,
we can speed and deepen our own healing." — Ken Page
To stay away from this side of who we are only holds us back and makes those aspects of ourselves more powerful. It causes us to do things we're ashamed of and to believe things we know aren't true.
Our deepest wounds have the ability to render us feeling unloved, unlovable, undeserving, damaged, and unworthy. We like to pretend that this isn't the case by painting ourselves to be someone we aren't to be socially accepted and seen as successful through the eyes of those who we're fooling or trying to impress.
Many roots of trauma exist in our childhood's, sometimes from our physical birth. There is collective trauma that lives within our human history that continues to breed fear, aggression, anger, and confusion. Then there's the trauma of growing up in a world where bullying, violence, and oppression is passed down from generation to generation.
"The very qualities we’re most ashamed of — the ones we try to sweep
under the rug so others don’t notice — are key in finding true happiness
within ourselves." — Lindsay, The Daily Awe
Core gifts can feel like shameful weaknesses, like a curse or a fault. But we cannot be whole without accepting ALL parts of ourselves. This doesn't mean we cannot change our minds about how we see ourselves or what we choose to believe about who we are, but that if we have behaviors and beliefs that we no longer want to exhibit or carry, we can let them go.
It can be hard at times to believe that what we've experienced by the hands of another isn't personal. It feels personal, it looks personal, and it can sound personal~ but it isn't.
Everyone is operating from their level of understanding of the world and from their personal experience of it. Most abusers were abused, most liars were lied to, and most thieves were stolen from. That doesn't make an ounce of it ok, but having an attitude based in compassion is how we're going to move forward and leave behind what no longer serves us.
A lot of us have pain, disappointment, and regret living within us that could've been avoided had we listened to what our intuition was trying to tell us. We have to take responsibility for what's ours to be responsible for while we forgive ourselves and everyone involved.
This doesn't mean that we allow what we thought broke us back into our lives or that we allow more of the same to continue, but that we take what we've learned and apply it now and always.
Sometimes things happen out of what seems like nowhere that uproots our life as we know it and leaves us dumbfounded and feeling desecrated. We watch people we love and trust violate us in the worst of ways as we spiral out of control from trying to understand why.
The truth is, it's hurt people hurting people.
Forgiveness isn't a word to take lightly, even though it's thrown around like a hot potato. Forgiveness is an action that starts with the desire to let go of what no longer serves. It's compassion in action that sees humanity as an opportunity to do what hasn't worked differently.
Sometimes we have to forgive the same things more than once because just as we didn't pick up these self-destructive habits and beliefs in an instant, it can be a hard process to unlearn the things that have influenced a big part of who we are today.
And sometimes simply accepting ourselves for who we are and others for who they choose to be is the path of least resistance.
If you truly enjoy something and it isn't causing you or anyone and anything harm, why beat yourself up about it? Why beat yourself up anyway? Why not just move on?
Because of our lack of courage and our fear of change.
We don't want to face what we believe is ugly, unlovable, or unacceptable about ourselves. If we don't do ShadowWork, we're only pretending to be the light that we truly are rather than actually embodying and connecting with it.
Courage nurtures our ability to feel connected and connection is a big part of why we're here. Connection opens us up to new worlds and new experiences that only flexibility and creativity can navigate. We must cultivate our motivation for learning, exploring, and growing!
The problem is most of us feel more disconnected than ever, in spite of the multi-faceted database of friends we collect on social media platforms and the identities we take on to fool ourselves into believing we're making real connections.
By denying who we are, we cannot
simultaneously move forward in a way that will bless our lives. Shame is
often-times the source of fear, insecurity, doubt, indecision,
inconsistency, isolation, pride, and regret.
When we experience emotions, and whether we label them positive or negative, they are guides inviting us on a journey deeper into the parts of who we are and where we've come from.
Take a moment to understand what makes you feel what you're feeling and why you're feeling it. Center yourself and dive deeper into your soul through taking deep breaths and having patience with your ability to hear what your soul is saying. Don't try to influence the answers you receive, for this will only be a response from your ego.
This is where patience and confidence come in. Focus and concentration are key elements here! What we focus on expands and expansion can be the process of spreading our wings and growing into who we truly are. We aren't designed to be like everyone else. We all have our individual path and purpose.
Grace
is the remedy to shame. It's the strength to strive for excellence, not
perfectionism, in all that we do. It's what we receive when we're at
one with ourselves instead of in conflict. It's redemption from the
self-imposed prison of guilt, shame, and insecurity.
What gifts rest within the heart of your current struggles? What passions lead you into vulnerability? What is your message to the world? What problem are you here to solve? How do you promote the good of others? Who do you want to help?
The Gift you're here to share resides where your profound happiness meets the world's deepest desire. Once you decide on who you want to help, how you're going to do it, and what it will accomplish~ you'll be unstoppable.
To Your Success,
Melissa Nelson
